The Holidays Episode 2: Kringle Delivers the last post

Rumor has it that The Polar Express made its way to the mailroom for its annual drop off... and the rumor is correct. One student received a very special delivery from Chris Kringle this week. Although this student will not be revealed for his own personal security, we can say that the package was labeled both fragile and to be kept refrigerated. TJ happened to be in The Mailroom upon the time of the delivery, and although he is now under the EPP [Elf Protection Program], we do have some recorded footage from the man himself. Let's take a look.

And holiday cheer radiated from the receiver of the package. Again, we are unable to reveal the name of the receiver, but we do have found some documentation when the package was picked up. 

Moral of the story: 
Even Santa uses The Mailroom

From all of us at The Mailroom, Merry Christmas. 

The Mailroom blog has come to an end, but this historic landmark is open five days a week, Monday-Friday, from 10am-4:30pm. 

The Holidays Episode 1

The holiday cheer is ever present in the mailroom, from goodie bags to stockings, you won't be able to find the grinch in this neck of the woods. A couple of updates for you. 

THE... IAN STERK... has received November employee of the month. So, that makes 2 months for Ian. 

okay Hannah, we get it... Ian is the best employee. 

Good job Ian.

(you're so humble)

Hannah also pulled out the grandma card and hung stockings for all of the employees, in order of her favorites (i.e. Janelle).

Controversial Content:

The following may not be suitable for potential Simpson Students, faculty or prospective geese looking to make the campus their home in hopes of getting some food scraps. 

Tyler on Caf

Janelle has recently been having dreams that she is Spider-Jan being stalked and striddled by a giant robot. Jackie in Student Financial Services gave her a sticker and a note, as well as Taylor in Registrar. 

Caleb aka 100% posted a photo of the action on The Mailroom cabinets.

With the end of the week nearing, the mail load is some what dissolving and the finals week work schedule has been made. 

Also, shout out to Hannah: Thanks for the Christmas bonus!!

Match made in The Mailroom.

Tony used the mailroom this week to snag his lady friend, Rebekah aka Stoody, as his very own. And the best part is... it worked! Tony craftily put gether a surprise package while he was working and Stoody came in thinking she was collecting just an ordinary mailroom pickup, when little did she know what was in her box. The box was filled with candies and fun things that she loved and at the bottom she found a note and realized that the box was from Tony, asking her if she would be more than just his friend. And well... The rest is history. 

Match made in heaven just turned into match made in the mailroom. 

And while Tony has been in quite a good mood this week, Tyler on the other hand has been having some trouble with his singleness. And to top it off he had to work on the heaviest mail load day.

With so much going on this week, it has been another successful five days of mail, copy jobs, sorting and dating services. Only a few of the many services that The Mailroom offers. 

Hannah puts the SUPER in SUPERvisor

FIRST on today's topics we have supervisor of the month. Now this honorable title is not given out lightly, but rather through a rigorous process amongst a panel of 7 students, all who happen to work in the mailroom. This month it has been decided that Hannah will be the supervisor of the month. We are so proud of her accomplishments, even if she does remain single. 

And now... for a quick intermission...

Now back from Heaven, although it is likely that half of the Simpson ladies who are reading this are no longer able to concentrate after seeing single Tyler get HavenBound, not to mention that their touch pads to move the mouse are probably no longer functional because of the drool that they produced while watching the previous clip.

SO, for all of our male readers, or should I say "mail" readers, here is a bit of news from the athletics department of the Mailroom. Tyler, Hannah and Tony were spotted last night at intermurals as indoor soccer season is at hand. Let us take a look.

The Mailroom: Exposed.

Last Friday night, November 18, 2011, The Mailroom staff had quite an eventful evening at Simpson University's Film Festival: Exposure. Hannah showed up in a smashing blue dress with honorary mailroom member Roseleen who was sporty a black and white dress. Tyler, wearing blue, classily showed up as a single man [possible part of a game plan]. Unfortunately for him, Jaymee Dee, who he was hoping would show up to support her friend, actually went off to record in London for the week. Sorry Tyler. Nicole was looking exquisite with her date, and posed below with her twin sister Natalie and friends. Ian, dressed to impress, accompanied by his lovely lady, Becca, poses for a photo below surrounded by friends. Dustin Lowe [previous supervisor], took the job of presenting best editing with Donna Flynn during the awards ceremony. Tessa appeared in a film during the evening, "Pass It On" by Jen Stevens who took home the award for Best Christian Message. Greg was not found from this perspective until the end, during clean up crew, but we are sure that he had on his fanciest attire as well. Tony did excellent in Vancouver, WA during the cross country NAIA national championships. You can check out the full story at http://athletics.simpsonu.edu/Pages/AthleticsNews/2011/CrossCountry/NAIA.htm . Finally Janelle, co director Caleb and music director Matt, took home the winning title of Best Film along with Best Editing and Best Cinematography with there film "The Book of the Beginning". 

MORAL OF THE NIGHT: The Mailroom Staff ALWAYS looks good.

ALSO, shout out to conference services [our department], for the set up and tear down of Exposure. They work late, and they do great! 

LOWE

Roseleen and Hannah

Ian Front and Center

Janelle, Caleb and Matt before the event

Natalie and Nicole

Tessa

Tyler

President Mckinney and his wife present the award for Best Film.

TESSA'S APPEARANCE IN "PASS IT ON" BY JEN STEVENS
http://vimeo.com/32390100

JANELLE, CALEB AND MATT'S FILM: "THE BOOK OF THE BEGINNING"
http://vimeo.com/32377818

The calm before the storm, the head honchos, and Tony Moore.

It has been a fantastic week in the mailroom. Everyone is excited for Thanksgiving break, and the amount of mail has been what we like to call, "the calm before the storm" of the holiday season that will begin the first day back from break. Students tend to get an early start on bidding on eBay, thus we get more packages to sort. Thanks guys!

Also, a quick shout out to Conferences Services on the third floor of the Owens Center, a.k.a. the head honchos of the Mailroom, who are the newest followers of the blog. No pressure now, right guys? Thanks to Hannah, they found out about it in a meeting this week, although Emma [the wonderful lady who sits at the desk when you first walk in and answers the phone when you call and gives you treats when you are sad and always greets you with a smile] has been a follower for a while now, the rest of the crew are quite fresh to this arm of the Mailroom. Don't worry guys, we'll do a segment on you after the break, and even more of a concern that has come up... who will continue the blog next semester?!  ... Never fear! I'm currently finding a replacement.

Ian has been taking the time to learn the odds and ends of the closing shift. First we started with the basics, but yesterday we let him have a handle on 'Betty'... Although she had a tough day and Enrollment Services had a much larger amount of mail than usual... Let's take a look at Ian as he attempts to do presort. 

But... 2 years ago when the "more experienced" members of the mailroom were being trained... this is the mess that we made up...

So, things are definitely looking up.

Tonight, you will be able to catch members of the Mailroom at Exposure, Simpson's very own film festival, and an evening of looking good in formal attire.

Hannah will be going, single. We think that she has some sort of plan to meet one of the visitors. 

Tyler will also be going single... so ladies, if you're looking for a last minute date, Tyler accepts gifts or any girls that will dress up like Jaymee Dee.

AND TONY IS CURRENTLY OUT OF TOWN FOR CROSS COUNTRY. HE'S A CHAMP.

Here is an excerpt from the Simpson University Athletics Website.

"CEADERVILLE, Ohio. - Simpson's men's cross country team traveled to participate in the NCCAA Cross Country Championships hosted by Cedarville University on Saturday, Nov. 12. The meet took place at Elvin R. King Cross Country course.

The team competition went to Malone University, who had five runners finish in the top eight. Cedarville University finished in second place, and Cal Baptist took third. The Red Hawks finished in 20th place overall. Malone University's Anthony Migliozzi, who turned in a time of 25:00, set the individual pace. The first Red Hawk to finish was Tony Moore who finished 30th out of the 209 runners with a time of 27:04."

Stories from an undisclosed location in the Mailroom

BEFORE I DO ANYTHING.. I would like to make a shout out to Hannah for covering for me this morning last minute. She has officially put herself in the running to become supervisor of the month. Announcement of the winner will be made in the near future, stay tuned.

This week has of course been eventful in the Mailroom! Does a day go by without excitement in the Mailroom? Do pigs fly? Does Tyler have a girlfriend? Has Hannah finally found her man? The answer to all of these questions is no! But the slight problem is that I wasn't in the Mailroom at all today, so we are going to have to do some back tracking and relive the past. 

But on the other unfortunate side of things is that my favorite happening in the Mailroom this week may cause further embarrassment to undisclosed members of the mailroom, so I won't do that to Ian. So... a picture in place of a story will have to do. Any guesses on the story behind it? [Insert buzzer noise here] Nope, you're wrong. Nice try though! Let's just say that Hannah thought the box was for someone with the last name of Gor-GEE-OS... and didn't realize that it was a gift from Ian to his lovely lady.... oops, wrong delivery. 

A blast from the past came to visit, we almost didn't even recognize him when he walked in. It's true, it's Dustin Lowe, the previous supervisor, now only a mark of history. And with history, comes time, and he is looking a little less strong these days. I guess enrollment services doesn't give him as much of a workout as the Mailroom did.

"My favorite thing about the Mailroom is the workout that I get."- Dustin [2010]

"My favorite thing about Enrollment is the phone calls that I get to make to strangers." -Dustin [2011]

Dustin gazes upon his old stomping grounds, holding back a tear.

Yesterday as Greg and Janelle closed up the Mailroom for the day, and sent the outgoing mail through "Betty" [the weighing and stamping machine], she decided to act up a bit. The following clip is of Betty, after Betty had been shut off. The following clip is not normal activity. The following clip is when Betty should be completely asleep, instead, Betty threw a hissy fit. 

The usual updates?

It has come to our attention, lately, that the culture of The Mailroom is rather entertaining to those who are not there on a daily basis. So, instead of fishing for a topic, why don't we just give some updates of a normal week in the mailroom. So here they are, in all their normality.

*We received a ball in the mail. Yes, a ball. Not in a box, not in an envelope and not even wrapped up. Just stuck with a stamp and shipped to us. In the past we have also received bananas, coconuts and even pineapples via the United States Postal Services, and the best part is that USPS does not even think twice about it when we go to pick up the mail in the morning, yet our jaws drop.


- --*Shout out to Professor Rose who gave us a fun load of colorful copy jobs to accomplish! If you are in any of his classes you are fully aware that he takes the fun of education to a whole new level with his colorful handouts.

*Hannah took off for the afternoon to go to a wedding, so the "lower than thou's" had the place to themselves. Tyler managed the afternoon shift with Tessa and had a surprise visit by Janelle who brought them Dunkaroos.

Tyler was greatly appreciative and wanted the world to know through a video update on his day:

*The "Employee(s) of the Month" wall is filling up quickly, the fight for november is underway and claws are coming out.

*Nicole and her twin sister Natalie studied vigorously for a test 10 minutes prior to class. Natalie claims Nicole to be the smart one, and studying techniques of sucking every last bit of knowledge from her twins mind became a apparent during a comical cram session.

*Tyler is still single, yet has a secret crush, mega crush, on up and coming star Jaymee Dee, YouTube sensation.

*A formula is currently being calculated for the amount of paper cuts received each day from sorted mail based on speed and agility and weight of the actual mail. Updates on that in the future.

*Next weeks blog will feature the many sides of Tyler, and possibly an inside look at who Mystery Man Tony actually is.

She watches us.

It's time to pay a bit of attention to our dear supervisor. She may have started out small, she may have started out being the first female to ever work in The Mailroom, back when they called it the "male" room, hence her nickname, "Mannah", but through the trials and obstacles of her 4 years at Simpson University, she has finally made it to the top, and has been declared supervisor, and also single. Which brings us to the focus of today's post... getting Hannah a boyfriend.

Let's take a moment to go through some of Hannah's best qualities.

Exhibit A: Hannah is a mother by nature. She knows kids and she knows how to make them happy.

Mostly because she was one.

Exhibit B: ADORABLE

*Don't worry, she has learned the proper use of a fork since this photo was taken.















Exhibit C: Next we have Hannah as an entertainer. Having taken part in many school events, Hannah is undeniably a crowd favorite. Here she stars as the Little Mermaid, obviously taking advantage of her lush red hair, in Airband 2010.















In our next Exhibit you can see Hannah as a educated citizen. As a college graduate Hannah now holds a degree in History and is currently in the process of earning her credentials, while she runs The Mailroom (Multi-tasker).

Exhibit D: EDUCATED










Hannah is also a US citizen (incase we have any international followers looking for a good excuse to come to America AND GET MARRIED).
Exhibit E:











And finally, out last exhibit, her humor.
I realize that no one outside of The Mailroom is likely to understand this, but that just goes to show that she cares about making her employees laugh.
Exhibit F:







As a 5th year resident of the Simpson University Dormitories, we couldn't ask for a better supervisor. So come by The Mailroom and get to know this lovely bachelorette. I would give out her work schedule, but I'm also in doubt to do so, in fear of losing my job. And since I'm FERPA trained, "When in doubt, don't give it out."

new kids on the block.

By far, the most exciting part of this semester has been all the new kids working in the mailroom. We train from sun up till sun down on weekdays, everything from sorting the mail, to doing rounds, to collecting the maximum amount of candy slyly from candy dishes in each office of the Owens Center, to copy jobs, to walking at the right pace so that the broken mail cart does not rattle to dodging the every present pick up lines from Tyler... let’s just say, training has been eventful. Yesterday, Ian was up to bat and was learning the art and tactic of the closing shift [3:00 pm to 4:30 pm]. This round consists of afternoon pick up rounds and package drop offs in the Owen Center, running the packages and letters through “Betty”, our “not so faithful” weighing and stamping machine, getting the mail sorted to be dropped off at FedEx and NorCal Presort, closing up the cash register and off course catering to the needs of those desperate students looking for packages that they claim their moms sent “weeks ago”. The greatest part about the closing shift is driving the mail in the Campus Safety Van. This baby is equipped with all of your safety essentials and has been more faithful than Betty, that’s for sure. Today Ian took shotgun and learned the ropes in hopes of one day sitting behind the wheel.

Campus never felt so safe. Protect the mail. Save a life.

A typical afternoon with not so typical people.

Here is a bit of an up close look at a fifteen minute slot in this afternoon's shift, featuring Tyler and Greg in their rush to sort through the outgoing mail, before the arrival of Hannah. Within this small time frame, we experienced laughter, tears [from laughter], three paper cuts, dancing, singing, sorting, afternoon rounds to the Owens Center and the attempted "moves" made by Tyler which then comes to the activity of rejection by the person who is on the receiving end of the attempted "move". After an aerobic dance workout session of "The Beard", it was time to get back to work to get the mail out of the building, into the campus safety van and on its way to be delivered to NorCal Presort by 4:00 pm.

Also, a shout out to Larry McKinney's Office who gave us chocolate chip muffins this morning! We were most delighted by the treat!

Tyler flexes for the passer-by ladies. Did it work? Nope!

This summer, Tiffany, without knowing the presence of anyone else in the room while she sorted mail, i.e. Dustin, decided to looked at herself in the mirror and boost her morale. Her quote has now been permanently placed on the mirror for all to see, use and boost their self asteem with.

Thanks to our new UPS delivery guy, Bryan, someone in the registrar's office will be very happy tomorrow morning when we make our deliveries. Thanks Bryan!

Hannah promotes health and well being on her way into work with high hopes that she might be running into the special someone. Award winning smile Hannah, keep up the good work.

And now for a word from Hannah herself. We appreciate her excitement and enthusiasm for life.

Roses are Red.

An honorary member of the mailroom is hard to come by these days. In order to be granted an honorary notion, one must be accepted by each Simpson University Mailroom Employee as a friend. One such person must be able to think quick on their feet, must be able to seem as if they do work in the mailroom by performing menial tasks handily [incase the actual employee decides to step out for a moment and a customer comes in needing a package, copy jobs or to purchase a stamp] and must be able to handle the menacing nature of Tyler towards the female species.

For the first time in almost 6 months, since Bryce Ritchie lost his honorary membership when Dustin Lowe [the former supervisor] moved to Enrollment Services, we are proud to say that Miss. Roseleen Meade has come about to be one such member, one who warms all of our hearts.

Holding many roles on campus including Student Resident Director of Morgan, she is welcomed in the mailroom at all times... and she knows it.

Here is an account of Rosie on Tuesday

Asleep under the desk. Were we surprised? YES! Actually we were. Rosie tends to have a lot of energy which she allows us to see through her random dancing, her laughter, her story telling and her witty remarks to Tyler as tries to use pick up lines on her, naturally.

And this week, she received jeans in the mail, and we were compelled to give her some theme music as she opened them in excitement. 

Tyler may not be single anymore...

As we all know, Tyler has been searching for love, high and low. He tends to use the mailroom as a bachelor pad, in hopes of finding that one lucky lady who will walk in seeking a mail question, but will end up finding love, his love. But in the time that he waits, he practices his love of his fellow employees, but they do not always tend to be on track with Tyler.

But low and behold, ladies and gentlemen, Tyler found his love today.

Her name is Jaymee Dee, and she is a friend of Janelle's from back home. She is an up and coming star, who just signed a contract and is well on her way to fame. Little does she know that little Tyler in Redding, CA is learning the tunes to all of her songs, and falling in love more and more with every passing moment. We are all excited for Tyler and his new found love. She is a talented young lady with big dreams. A match made in heaven if I do say so myself. We hope that this blog entry does not sadden the hearts of those ladies who were seeking after Tyler here at Simpson University. 

The Staff...

Before going on any further it seems as though we should take the time to get to know the mailroom staff members.

Starting us off, we have Hannah, the supervisor.
She is fantastic and a recent graduate of Simpson University with her degree in history. She was the first female employee of the mailroom and gentlemen... she's single!

Next we have Greg, who is engaged to be married to his fiance Lauren! He has been a mailroom employee since the fall of 2009.



















Janelle has also been a mailroom employee since 2009, originally trained by Dustin Lowe, also under the guidance of Hannah and Elicia. Her Extreme Bop It high score is 147 and this spring she will be studying in China at Xiamen University.

Ian is a new employee this year. He has made a recent switch from the Nursing Department into the Business Department. Ladies, he is not single.












Nicole is also a new mailroom employee. She has a twin named Natalie and an older brother, Tyler, who also attend Simpson University and all play for the university's soccer teams. Boys, she's single!

Up next, the one and only Tessa! A nursing student and a quick learner, she's a great pick for any guy, a smile never leaves her face.  

Tiff is by far the one of the hardest workers in the mailroom as a new employee. Although she only has one shift during the week, she works another part time job outside of school, she has 18 units, and 40 hours a week of basketball. She has a fantastic sense of humor and would make anyone happy, such as her husband. Thus, she's not available, so back off boys!

Mystery man Tony is another new employee, a great edition working the lunch shift. Tony enjoys telling his fellow employees that they have large packages waiting for them, when really, their packages are the smallest on the shelf.

And finally, Ladies, the Tyler Lynch. Single and looking for love. This fine bachelor is the recent winner of Simpson University's Airband 2011. He enjoys home cooking, a good laugh and cats. He speaks three languages and can juggle. What's not to love?

first ones on deck...

This morning, Tiffany and Janelle sorted the mail, as usual for a Tuesday morning. Lucky enough were they, that Justin Bieber just released his single "Mistletoe". So while they sorted, they jammed, listening to the song on repeat for the next hour. That's a total of 23 plays. Mail was more abundant today than it had ever been on a Tuesday morning, and news was spreading among Simpson Nursing Students that acceptance/rejection letters for the program would be sent out. That's where we came in. The phone rang, Tiffany answered, and the Nursing Department responded with the news that the letters were ready to be delivered. So with that, Janelle went to pick them up and Tiffany continued to sort. As rounds continued for the morning, the Owens Center offices were chipper and friendly, filled with smiles as we hand delivered their mail and packages. 10:15 came about and it was time for chapel, and time to close up The Mailroom. Hannah, the supervisor, was looking exceptional today, dressed to impressed as she headed out to do a classroom observation as she credentials through the Simpson University Education Department. We are so proud of her. Go Hannah! Also, Tyler Lynch is still single.